Learning how to embrace and properly care for your curls is a rite of passage for any curly-haired girl. Some of my earliest beauty memories involve painstakingly brushing through my dry, thick curls, only to end up with a poofy, frizzy mess. When I reached middle school, I discovered the flat iron and felt like a brand-new girl. For most of my life, I spent hours frying my hair, willing each strand to be sleek and shiny. My biggest enemy? Rain. Just a few drops of water and all my hard work was ruined. My second hair rival? Humidity. Straightened curly hair is no match for a hot summer day. The minute I stepped outside, the frizz and crimps were unstoppable. This summer, I finally had enough. It was time to put down the straightener and pick up a curly hair routine.
I'd dabbled in curly hair products before, but this time, I was all in. I immersed myself in the curly hair community on TikTok, Pinterest, and Instagram. I learned about my curl type (3c) and hair porosity (I still can't figure out if my hair is high or low porosity). After plenty of trial and error, I've gotten my curly hair routine down to a science. I think I've finally figured out which products my hair loves—if only I could get it to turn out the same way twice!
Having curly hair is high-maintenance. Some days, I wish I could step out of the shower, brush my hair, and be ready to go. Instead, I have to strategically plan wash days and set aside time for styling and drying. This is the curly hair routine I've been loving:
I use Aveda Be Curly Advanced Shampoo and Conditioner, which I discovered through the Kalogeras sisters (TikTok curly hair icons). After showering, I rake Pattern's leave-in conditioner through my sopping-wet hair and brush. Then I flip my hair upside down and scrunch in Miss Jessie's MultiCultural Curls Hair Lotion, Camille Rose's Spiked Honey Mousse, and Pattern's Curl Gel. Once I'm done, I sit and wait…and wait. My hair takes hours to fully dry. Side note: I've tried diffusing, but I definitely need more practice. I spend this time hoping and praying to the curly hair gods that my curls turn out just right. Once my hair is 90 percent dry, I break the gel cast with OGX's Weightless Healing Dry Oil. It's all worth it when I see my beautiful spirals and ringlets—except some days, despite my best efforts, the curls just aren't sitting right. My hair's performance absolutely makes or breaks my day.
Then we get to Day 2. I've tried so many different sleeping methods: pineapple, bonnet, braids. Yet somehow, I still wake up looking like Hagrid. I use a continuous spray bottle to re-drench my hair and do my routine all over again. I know there has to be a better way, but I can't find it!
On top of figuring out how to manage my curls, I must admit it's been difficult to feel confident wearing them. Curly hair has been called a lot of things: messy, unruly, unprofessional. For so long, I felt like my curls made me look less attractive and put-together. The girls I looked up to in magazines had glossy, straight hair, silky and shiny courtesy of whatever shampoo they advertised. Even the curly-haired girls on TV straightened their hair in the end. Carrie Bradshaw's wild curls made me want to wash my hair and reveal my own—until she straightened them for much of Season 3. And a key part of Mia's Princess Diaries makeover involved transforming her frizzy mane into a sleek, straight style. It's hard to love my curly hair when my favorite media echoes my insecurities. But I'm getting there.
Luckily, there's a whole community of gorgeous, curly-haired women who see the beauty in wild, untamed curls and are willing to share their trade secrets. Spending time on my hair has become one of my favorite self-care rituals, and I've tried new hairstyles that make me truly appreciate my curls. I'm lucky to be a curly-haired girl, and I'm in good company: Julia Roberts, Zendaya, and Tracee Ellis Ross. The curly hair journey is a difficult one, but I'm happy to take it. Nothing feels better than meeting another curly-haired girl, complimenting each other's locks, and exchanging tips and product recommendations. Breaking up with my flat iron has been tough, but my hair is happy, and so am I.