> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.tawnymagazine.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Swiping Right On Friendship Apps: The Case For Dating Friends - URL: https://www.tawnymagazine.com/swiping-right-on-friendship-apps-the-case-for-dating-friends/ - Published: 2026-10-10T16:00:00.000Z - Updated: 2026-10-10T16:00:00.000Z - Description: Bumble BFF. Yubo. Peanut. Friendship apps are back on the rise, and perhaps for good reason. But can you actually form a genuine friendship online? Is the app store really the place to find your girls? - Author: Mikayla Blair - Tags: Friendships, All Lifestyle, Hot Take “I wonder if she’s seeing anyone else?” The thought had barely crossed my mind when it hit me: I’m dating again. It’s not what you’re thinking. I’ve been happily married for five years and wouldn’t dream of hitting Tinder again. No, I was on the hunt for a new circle of friends. But the parallels were hard to ignore. There I was, sitting across the table from someone I’d only ever communicated with through an app, asking all the first date questions and wondering if I was being weird. Or if we’d do this again sometime. Or whether my hair looked okay. Was I drinking my coffee too fast? Was I talking too much? Not enough? Would this blossom into something special, or would she eventually fall into the “someone that I used to know” category? Yes, I was dating a potential friend. Several of them, actually. All thanks to a friendship app that I downloaded on a whim. I went from being alone in a new city to suddenly having a thriving social life and feeling like I was starting to belong. Yubo, Bumble BFF, Peanut—there’s a long list of social connection platforms in the app store. Are they really worth using? --- ## Is It Cringe If It Works? I may be an anomaly, but I’ve had impeccable luck meeting people through apps. No, *really*. It’s to the point where I feel kinda bad talking about it with people who have been on bad date after bad date. But here we are, so I’ll tell you anyway. The first time I tried a matching app was at the end of 2019\. I was fresh off a bad breakup and ready to put myself back out there. I was talking to a double-digit number of guys on Bumble, but after a few weeks, only two actually suggested we meet up in person. The very first one I went out with was my future husband. I didn’t bother meeting up with anyone else. Six years later, we’ve just had our first baby. When he was only 2 months old, we left everything behind and moved to a brand new city. A new start usually means having no friends for a while. Been there, done that. But this time felt especially isolating since I was now working from home and taking care of a baby full-time. How was I supposed to make friends? But, instead of accepting a lonely start, I decided to do something I always thought was pretty cringe. I joined a friendship app. One called [Peanut](https://www.peanut-app.io/?ref=tawnymagazine.com), which is specifically designed for moms. I immediately started matching with women nearby. Lots of them. I went from having zero friends to having *options*. And instead of just being friends with anyone who would have me, as I’ve been known to do, I found myself being a little selective. I was swiping right on women who genuinely looked like friend material—around my age, in the same stage of life, with similar interests, etc.—and, despite feeling kind of bad at first, swiping left on those who didn’t seem like a good fit. And guess what? It worked. The very first girl I met up with was a perfect match. Fast forward a couple of months, and we get together almost weekly. Our babies are friends. Our husbands are friends. We’re planning a camping trip. Bing bang boom. It’s as easy as swiping right. Right? I mean, there’s a little more to it than that. But when it comes to our closest relationships in life, I think each deserves whatever time and attention it takes to get it right. ![woman hugging other woman while smiling at beach](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1530047139082-5435ca3c4614?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDl8fGJlc3QlMjBmcmllbmRzfGVufDB8fHx8MTc5MTMwMjg3OXww&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Omar Lopez](https://unsplash.com/@omarlopez1?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## We Won’t Settle for a Partner, Why Are We Content Settling For Friends? I’m not going to lie, I think I’m having just as much, if not more, fun dating for friends than I ever did dating romantically (until I met my husband, of course!). It’s all the same meeting places. The same “get-to-know-you” conversations. The same “hey :)” text messages. The same anticipation. It’s all the fun of dating without the pressure. You can even still get dressed up if you want to. When you’re looking for love, the stakes feel so high. You’re looking for a life partner, after all. For better or worse, every date you go on has the potential to impact the trajectory of your life forever. Yeah, no pressure! Even casual dating comes with its share of stress. Determining who is safe to be with, dodging potential drama, and making sure you’re on the same page about “what this is” can take more mental energy than we like to admit. It’s ingrained in us not to settle romantically. And we shouldn’t. But why don’t we apply that same level of dedication to our friendships as well? It’s easy to become so focused on THE relationship in our life (our romantic partner) that we forget how important it is to look for truly fulfilling friendships. Our partner can’t be everything that we need all of the time, after all. Famed psychotherapist Esther Perel regularly stresses the importance of the proverbial village. She writes in an [Instagram post](https://www.instagram.com/p/CWoe2ybLNsf/?ref=tawnymagazine.com): > “Our expectations of our partners have never been so high. We want to ‘marry our best friend,’ our confidant on all matters, someone to whom we should be able to tell everything. And, for that matter, they should not only be a stellar co-parent, they should also be a savvy co-decorator, a skilled sous chef, a financial whiz, a motivated jogging partner, and a devilishly funny gossip—depending on what we need that day. But, why are we relying on one person to fill so many roles? That's where friends come in.” Whew, yeah, that sounds more like a team effort. But the quality of that team matters. When you’re lacking friends, putting on a persona to fit in, maintaining relationships with people who won’t show up for you, or part of a circle that’s downright toxic, it negatively impacts every aspect of your life. It’s lonely, it’s painful, and it’s exhausting. Finding a genuine, healthy friend feels like such a life upgrade. And having an entire circle of supportive, fun women to do life with? There’s nothing like it. And we can all have that. No, really. We just have to find lifelong friends the way we look for a spouse. *We have to date them*. Actively seek out new friendships. Get out there and intentionally put yourself in situations where you can meet people. Maybe… download an app? Before you let your guard down with just anyone, get a feel for who they are as a person. Hang out a few times, get to know them. Test the waters by slowly introducing them to your other friends, your partner, your family. See what the trusted individuals in your life think of them. Sound like overkill? Well, have you ever let someone into your circle who turned out to be a toxic nightmare? They tend to infect the entire friend group. Gossip ensues. Backs get stabbed. Sides are chosen. Friendships end. And a friend breakup can be just as painful as a romantic one. So don’t settle. Invest your time and energy into connecting with quality friends. It’s worth the extra effort. And it’s actually pretty fun, in my experience. --- ## It’s Not Fate: How To Get The Most Out Of Friendship Apps Look, I’m not trying to sell you some crap that if you just download an app, make a wish, and believe, your new BFF will magically appear. What I *am* saying is that if you put yourself out there with intention, good things can happen. Although meeting new people the traditional way is a little more magical, and definitely makes for a better story, it can take a while. It also requires you to actually be out and about around a lot of different people, which is easier said than done for some of us. So if you’re struggling to find friends, stop waiting on fate. Swallow your pride, download the app, and take charge of your own life. But you can’t just download the app and hope someone will find you. It’s a tool, and it only works if you know how to use it. In my experience, there are five things you should be doing if you want to get the most out of a friendship app. 1. **Be smart about your profile.** This isn’t Tinder. People actually read your bio, and overly sexy pictures are more of a turn-*off* here. I suggest using photos that show off your personality instead. Write an honest bio that gives people an idea of who you are, your interests, and something memorable that helps you stand out. 2. **Filter aggressively**. Don’t waste your time swiping through people who live too far away, aren’t in the same stage of life, or are just completely incompatible with you. These apps have filters for a reason. Use them! 3. **Be selective**. The point of using a matching app is to connect with people you’re actually interested in meeting. Read bios, look at photos, gauge interests. If they seem like someone you’d want to have a conversation with, swipe right. If it doesn’t look like you have anything in common, don’t feel bad about swiping left. They’d prefer you don’t waste their time, trust me! 4. **Don’t be shy**. So many women on matching apps are awkward about initiating conversation. Don’t be! If you always wait for the other person to reach out, there’s a good chance they’re also waiting for you. So go ahead and message them. It’s not weird. It’s the entire point, actually. 5. **Actually plan a meet-up**. Although plenty of people find fulfillment in online friendships, which is great, I strongly advocate for meeting in person whenever possible. People are always different in real life and, for me at least, it makes the connection more real to actually talk face-to-face. Don’t be afraid to meet up, and definitely don’t be afraid to be the one to suggest doing so. Once you do it the first time, you’ll realize just how fun it is to come up with “date” ideas and get to know new people. Whether it’s a one-time meeting or a new long-term friend. Remember to be safe. Meet up in public places, and don’t share personal information with complete strangers. Once you’ve met in person and verified they are who they say they are, relax and have fun getting to know each other. **So enjoy this era of friend dating, and have a coffee for me!**