> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.tawnymagazine.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # How To Be The Perfect Hostess Without Crying In The Bathroom - URL: https://www.tawnymagazine.com/how-to-be-the-perfect-hostess-without-crying-in-the-bathroom/ - Published: 2026-09-25T15:55:49.000Z - Updated: 2026-09-25T16:25:34.000Z - Description: From deciding the menu to perfecting the playlist, we're here to help your next dinner party be one for the ages, no crash-outs required. - Author: Andrea Carrillo - Tags: Hosting, Food & Drink, Events, All Lifestyle I strive to live up to my mother. For one thing, she’s got hosting *down*. Growing up, I saw deep cleaning and food preparation for guests as punishment. But as an adult, I can only appreciate the love and care that goes into prepping your space to bring friends together. Everybody’s searching for community. With the epidemic of [third spaces you have to pay to get into](https://www.hughesnet.com/blog/every-states-favorite-third-place?ref=tawnymagazine.com), there’s something truly freeing about welcoming others to your personal table. Still, it’s hard not to lose yourself over winning guests’ approval in the process. *My guest will fawn over the lack of dust on my shelves.* *Surely they’ll notice the vintage crystal pitcher from which I pour their lemonade.* *They won’t be able to resist the tightly tucked corners of the guest room bed.* In reality, you lose the potential of a great party when you obsess over the minuscule details of your house instead of the overall atmosphere of your home. Here’s how to get through a night of hosting in one piece. --- ## In Ina’s Garden I watched about two seasons of *Barefoot Contessa* as research for this article. One of my biggest takeaways (besides a craving for brownie pudding) is that Ina Garten, the hostess of the show and my heart, throws great gatherings but never at the expense of her sanity. She doesn’t always make every dish from scratch. She never stresses over extravagant decor. Most importantly, Ina simply refused to get stuck in the kitchen while her guests had a great time without her. How fabulous is that? Granted, that may be better said than done for someone trying to impress, say, a mother-in-law. But if the stakes are a little lower, here are some other tips from the Barefoot Contessa: - Straddle the line between crowded and intimate. When everyone’s elbow to elbow at the dinner table, Ina says it gives people a chance to get to know each other better. - Serve food family style. Nobody wants all eyes on them as they go to the kitchen for seconds. - Saturday night is a daunting night to host because it involves lots of pressure and expectation of a more elaborate dinner. Sunday lunch is a bit more relaxed. --- ## Appeal To The Senses Always, always, *always* make sure the bathroom is clean. Scrub the toilet. Scrape the cemented toothpaste off the sink. Sweep the floor for stray tresses. Hand towels are cute, but nobody wants to share a soggy communal towel, so offer paper ones. (Bathroom cleanliness during a party is not the time to be frugal, my friends.) We can’t always sense what our house smells like to others. Having the windows open during a deep clean will freshen the air in a way even a Le Labo candle can't. Naturally, you might not have time to wash the couch covers or rug. We suggest spraying everything down with [hypochlorous acid](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08DH91SN9?ref=tawnymagazine.com), a gentle but powerful disinfectant and sanitizer. Trust us, it works a lot better than a dousing of Febreze at the last second. On the topic of pet hair, *get rid of it*. A [Chom-Chom roller](https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BAGTNAQ?ref=tawnymagazine.com) works wonders. Try to have music playing when guests arrive. A good mix will immediately set the tone for the evening, even if you’re still putting dinner together and someone’s had a work day from hell. Soho House has [playlists on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/user/sohohouse1995?ref=tawnymagazine.com), and you can never go wrong with jazz. ![a woman in a kitchen chopping vegetables on a cutting board](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1636647511729-6703539ba71f?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDZ8fGNvb2tpbmclMjBkaW5uZXJ8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzkwMzQzNjI0fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Douglas Fehr](https://unsplash.com/@roninfehr?ref=tawnymagazine.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## They call it comfort food for a reason Determine your menu ahead of time, and don’t feel like you need to make every single dish from scratch. There’s no law against buying things pre-made or even elevating your typical [girl dinner](https://www.tawnymagazine.com/girl-dinner-by-grocery-store-whats-in-your-cart/). This is where we'd suggest you consider your skill set. If you’ve never deboned a duck, don’t start now. When in doubt, refer to TikTok for easy comfort meals—we know you have a million recipes saved for later. Play up the appetizers. My aunt always says there’s less pressure for the main course if people get full on delicious appetizers. Lastly, be mindful of dietary restrictions. If your girlfriend is on a fitness journey, maybe swap the decadent lava cake for some light coconut macaroons. Your younger sister hates seafood, so have some other meats available. And if you've got a [picky eater](https://www.tawnymagazine.com/i-stopped-cooking-dinner-for-my-teenagers-every-night-and-nobody-starved/) coming tonight, you might have to get a little creative. ## Drink And Be Merry If your guests aren’t bringing a dish, they’re almost always bringing drinks. Even so, a pitcher of pre-made cocktails prevents running into the kitchen every 15 minutes. It might also be helpful to set up a self-serve drink station that lets your guests DIY their libations. And remember that not everyone drinks alcohol! Offer mocktails, sodas, and other intentional beverages besides water. ![People enjoying a candlelit dinner at a dimly lit restaurant](https://images.unsplash.com/photo-1778694277039-5cbf0b9a1fcf?crop=entropy&cs=tinysrgb&fit=max&fm=jpg&ixid=M3wxMTc3M3wwfDF8c2VhcmNofDIxfHxmcmllbmRzJTIwZGlubmVyJTIwcGFydHl8ZW58MHx8fHwxNzkwMzQzNTQ2fDA&ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=80&w=2000) Photo by [Romain Gal](https://unsplash.com/@wamstudio?ref=tawnymagazine.com) / [Unsplash](https://unsplash.com/?utm%5Fsource=ghost&utm%5Fmedium=referral&utm%5Fcampaign=api-credit) ## Curate The Vibes However long you think you need to prepare last touches, give yourself at least another 20 minutes. You’ll probably be busy with something when guests arrive, but delegate a small, easy task, like filling water glasses or bringing appetizers to the table, to the first guests. This takes pressure off those first few moments and opens the door for conversation. If you've covered the cleanliness, music, and food in advance, there's little left to do as a host other than just being present. Guests can tell when a host is stressed and hovering. Try not to sulk over an area you forgot to dust or a guest who added salt to the chicken. Stay in the moment, keep the focus on having a good time, and enjoy the company. --- If you tremble at the idea of hosting your first dinner party, whether it be a book club or Thanksgiving dinner, remember that people are usually more thankful for you opening your home than anything else. **As long as you have food and drinks at the ready, infuse the environment with scents and sounds, you’re guaranteed to have people asking about the next get-together**.